Aloha!

Guess which one is 'da the Poly????

I was just rummaging through my photo tub and I found a CD from 2 years ago I never saved to my computer...oopps. Since I rarely upload the pics of moi, I felt it was time to treat y'all to some of my better takes...bright colors, fake tan, and Aloha spirit...it doesn't get much better than that, yo!

Do you like the lazy eye wink????

All of 'da girlz 'n Miss Bunny's Halau
(Miss Bunny is top row, 2nd from R...but you probably knew that, right?)
On a side note, perhaps if I was more endowed, I wouldn't have to worry about my top hanging scandously low, eh?

"Hey! I'm pointing to you...yeah you baby, he, he!!

Good night everybody!!!

Mystery Solved!

The following Yo-Adriane mystery is almost as intriguing as the ghosts lurking in Jerome, AZ (the ones inside the building that is...not the one standing in front of it).

As far back as I can remember, I have made the following sound on an almost regular basis:

Arggghemmmm..Ahhhkkkkk..Arrrrrr!!!

Okay, I don't really know how to linguistically describe the sound but just think of a cat coughing up a really horrendous hairball that NEVER actually surfaces. Or better yet, just imagine Gollum hacking up some pretty stale elven bread. Got it? Okay, so you got a pretty good idea of my less-than-lady-like habit.

Up until yesterday, I really had no definite explanation as to why I did this.

If you were to ask me to guess, I would have probably attributed it to one of the following scenarios:

A) I have an incessant cold.

B) I imagined a medical condition to grab people's pity.

C) I permanently damaged my respiratory system when I recently scarfed a piece of cake down the wrong tube in my throat.

In actuality, the answer has a little do with all three answers...Incessant, Medical Condition, and Respiratory System....So, have you guessed yet?

Well, if you did, your logic must be clearer than mine because I honestly didn't think I would have to deal with.....drum roll please....wait for it...here it comes......ASTHMA!!!!!!!!!

Did I make that dramatic enough for you? I hope so b/c J always says I can be such a drama Q...and I think he is right...so here it is again......

DUDE, I HAVE ASTHMA!

I got the less-than-exciting news yesterday during a doctor's visit in which I was convinced I had bronchitis. Yeah, if only I were so lucky...

And yet, should I rejoice that I have solved this 20-something year old mystery? Should I?

I guess I SHOULD be grateful that I can now silence my death gag with the help of modern, chemical-laden technology.

I know you know what an inhaler is...it's for middle school P.E. first aid kits, right? But did you know, us asthma suffer-ees can also inhale fine, steroid-choked powder through a cute, little, self-priming, purple disc??? It's sooooo cool man.....

And how about the names for these drugs?

ProAir and AdvAir.

They make it sound like I been promoted or something. Yeah I'd like a new introduction now...."Hi I'm Adriane, Senior Executive of Flem-No-More Inc."

But I guess their strategy is reverse psychology...They make you think their drugs = personal freedom when really you're like two steps away from becoming a full-out inhaler addict. Didn't Millhouse from the Simpsons or Steve Urkel or someone like that on tv suffer from inhaler addiction? Yeah, whoever it was, I'll be him/her in like two prescription refills.

You may ask (or at least I had to ask myself)...Am I still normal?

Sure. If you can call a girl with overgrown bangs, size 10W feet, and an undying love of onions and smoked oysters normal. I'm normal.

Truth be known, I'm actually happy I found out what was wrong with me. It's a relief. No more "cough girl" stigma or people thinking I may or may not have some hideous germ which will eventually ripen into the formidable H1N1 ...yeah, all I have to worry about now is if I remember to pack my inhaler in my purse. To quote my new hero, Nacho Libre, "My life is good...really good!!"

--A

Yo-Adriane Home Remedy

Bucksta and 'da rest of the Smith clan

Rumor has it my sistah is out sick, yo.

I've tried to call her once today to confirm this, but alas no luck.

Sooooo, I'm think the rumor is true.

No Bucksta chat for today. Waaaahhhhwaaaahhhhh.....

Sooooo, I'm going cheer her up via blog.

Okay, Bucky here's the top ten things that will make you laugh and they are all about my week:

#10 I fried 8 lbs. of hot wings this morning (2 lbs. for the Elders....they're from the South...special request....and 0.5 lbs. for J's lunch and 5.5 lbs for a potluck in one hour) and my hair totally smells like burnt grease (or Chinese food...take your pick)....AND it totally smelled like burnt grease during church...I hope nobody noticed.

#9 I wore a pair of black 1940s-esque pants yesterday (HIGH waist and wide legs) and I thought it was so cool but then Justin came home gave and gave me that look like "Honey, are you wearing old-lady pants...again?"

#8 A new liter of cats is living under our traile...uhumm I mean, mobile housing unit...and causing quite the ruckus. Every time they get into a fight, I swear one of them is going to pop into the house via the heating vent....scarrryyyy!

#7 I broke out with a cluster of zits on my right cheek resemblying the Pleiades.....who knows, maybe Mother Teresa will be next?

#6 I made 250 tortilla wrap thingees yesterday for our Primary activity (as well as a crap load of other stuff) all while listening to Ravi Santra (can't remember if that was his name) 1993's concert in Albert Hall.....just think 90 minutes of Lagaan-esque Indian music....I was quite hypnotized.

#5 At church today, my tights never stayed higher than mid-cheek (I know TMI...my apologies).

#4 I realized this week that gaining weight in my gut has its advantages....my center of gravity is lower and so I can pull out a double pirouette almost every time.

#3 Friday night J and I ate at this Mexican joint in town called "Casa Antigua." We were the only ones there and there was this really sappy Julio Iglesias/Willy Nelson song playing....I really felt like that was as probably as close to a romantic date with my husband as I will get...wahhwahhh.

#2 I actually bought fall decorations for my porch.

#1 The other day I found this 3 inch long blonde hair portruding from my right cheek (the one on my face of course)..how many times do I look in the mirror AND somehow this freak of nature was able to go under the radar????????

Well, Bucky I've had oodles of crazier things happen to me. I guess I'll just have to wait and tell you all about them some other time.

I hope you feel better soon..and the rest of the fam too.

Love ya!

--A