Small Triumphs

me: "Eye opening moment. Today. Sunday. Febraury 9th, 2009."

you: "Details?"

me: "Short or long?"

you: "You decide."

me: "Okay, how about both?"

I had one of those eye-opening moments today. You know the kind where you tilt your head, raise your brows, and say "Uh-huh!" and then deeply gaze into the invisible abyss in front of you?


Well, that's the moment I had today.

I thought it was worth writing in my journal, and then I realized, "Oooh, wait! I have a blog!" Which, what are blogs for anyways if they can't be used as receptacles (and, might I add showcases) for the most random thoughts and self realizations?

So here's the short version of my "moment":

Rewind life 3 months. New home. New ward. New calling. Primary.

Primary kids outta control. Almost every week.

Leaders are few. Teachers are fewer.

Adults install rules. Good, easy rules with cute pictures.

Kids still outta control.

Fast forward to today.

Primary room. 11:00 a.m. Smiles. Raised arms. Folded arms. Occasional defiance.

Bottom Line? Small Triumph!


Okay, so here is the long version.


For some reason or another, our Primary has been outta control for weeks.

I love our Primary, but wrangling 20-some kids into non-consented reverence isn't exactly my idea of having fun. Mind you, not every child has been outta control (thank goodness) but a good deal of them have. As a the leadership in Primary, we have tried everything to combat the chaos--spiritual lectures, reverence songs, a rule chart, and probably a threat or two (at least I have). But to no avail. The chaos has continued.

Last week was bad. Pretty bad. Imagine kids running around the room. Teasing. Fighting. Juvenile sarcasm (ooohh, I hate it when kids get cheeky! ;) And loads of other non-exemplary behavior. Needless to say, I felt frustrated, clueless, and pitifully sorry for the other leaders and teachers in our Primary.



For fear of being struck by lightening, I have never formally asked the Lord, "Why?!!" But I have wanted too.....

"Why? Why can't I exert some authority....example...or at least bewitchment over these children?"

"Is this my punishment for all the cheeky flack I gave my parents...or is this another one of those 'seemingly never-ending' trials which I must learn a most-valuable life lesson from?"



Well, ladies and gents, I think I can safely say that the Lord wanted me to learn a valuable lesson...or two...or heck, all of them.

Faith. Patience. Love (the sincere kind, you know). More Faith. More Patience. Oh yeah, don't forget Forgiveness too.




While lazily sitting on my couch today after church, I made this realization. I had a moment.

It struck me that had the weeks of chaos never occurred I would never have:

1. Persevered in faith and patience (although I probably didn't recognize myself as doing so)

2. Remained humble (A "whipped" Primary leader is so far from self-conceit, you know)

3. Expressed gratitude for today's near perfect day in Primary.



For all those courageously engaged in the calling of Primary, I salute you today.

For all those in my own Primary (leaders, teachers, and children too), I love you from the bottom of my heart! Please accept my thanks for letting me use our wonderful Primary as dramatic material for my blog.

Viva Primary!

--A

The meaning of dirty dishes

This last week meant a return to school for me.

Indeed, my whole being has been engrossed in seemingly never-ending intellectual pursuits that I can't seem to wholly understand or rationalize their usefulness. Does this sentence give you a hint that I am a confused, overwhelmed, English major, struggling to understand Foucault, with enough wits to make myself sound less intelligent than my $15,000 education should really boast?

Anyways, the bottom line is that I have done a lot of thinking this past week.

Thinking which may have regressed my intelligence rather than progressed it.

And yet, in this mode of overly analytical thought, I have made a few overly analytical observations about my more humble, non-academic life, namely the subject of dirty dishes.

Have you ever pondered on the inner meaning of dirty dishes? I mean to say, dirty dishes that have sat in your sink for hours...dish upon dish upon tray upon bowl upon your last precious Wedding glass...just waiting to be washed and returned to their former state of glory?

Now, if your standard of domestic cleanliness is such that you have never experienced this before, I congratulate you. I also understand if you have no further use for my silly analysis.

But, if you can relate with me on this premise then let's explore this idea a little further.

Why do we not wash dirty dishes? Why do we loathe them? Why do we actually continue to pile more dirty dishes upon those already there, thus threatening the physical safety of all?

Here's why:

We don't wash them because it is work and work is hard.

We loathe them because we know they will always be there unless we engage in work.

We continue to add more dirty dishes because as we cannot use them, we must use others in their place, and so we continue to make more and more dirty dishes AND they pile up BECAUSE to wash the "new" dirty dishes would only involve also washing the "old" dirty dishes WHICH would essentially be exponentially more work.

Follow me? Okay.

Now here is how this all relates to LIFE.

Dirty dishes can be likened to every task in which we procrastinate doing because we are either 1) lazy, 2) afraid, or 3) burnt out.

As I looked at my dishes today (admittedly they are only 1 day old...but to my the credit of my analysis I have gone MUCH longer without doing them), I realized that I am avoiding them like I am perhaps avoiding other things in life. In some things I don't do because I am lazy (dare I say visiting teaching?!), or afraid (living a simpler life?) or burnt out (how about being sweet to my sweetheart?)

The truth is, at least for me, I do not want to have dirty dishes in my sink. I want clean dishes.

Likewise, I do not want to be lazy, afraid, or burnt out. I want to be ambitious, hopeful, and passionate about life. But how does one get there?

As with all profound questions in life, I don't completely know. Sure I know the end result that I want, but I don't necessarily know the "how to." But since I am boasting of my overly analytical, under-ly practical skills today, I am going to take a crack at it.

We clean dishes one step at a time. A little cliche, I know.

First we prepare. We fill the sink with soap and water.

Next we place the dishes in the sink AT THE CAPACITY in which the sink will handle.

Next we scrub.

Then we rinse, dry, and place neatly in the cabinet.

Simple right?

Now let's compare this to our symbolic dirty dishes.

First we prepare. We make the necessary arrangements so that our work will be smooth and productive...like, maybe find out who we visit teach?

Next, we work according to our capacity...you know don't take on more than you can handle or if you do, ask the Lord for help?

Next, is the hardest past. We remove the filth or obstacles to our success..like if I wanted to simplify my life, I would finally get rid of those jeans I haven't been able to fit since I WAS fit and young and all of 16.

Now we are on the down-hill side of this dirty dishes/improving our lives business. We give everything we do our last effort for success...like me using a pleasant, sweet tone of voice always when talking to J, right?

If you have endured thus far, I congratulate you for your patience...or maybe it is curiosity? Either way, here concludes my grammatically and conceptually inconsistent (I am sure it is) analysis:

Dirty Dishes = Unhappiness

Ambition + Hope + Passion + A Lot of Work = Clean Dishes

--A

A Serious Case of Blogger Avoidance

I must have a serious case of Blogger Avoidance (BA).

Yes, I have thought about blogging in the last 6 weeks, but I have avoided it like a sink full of dirty dishes. Want to know the reason why? Well simply put, since I couldn't bring myself to write anything interesting, funny, or simply redemptive, I figured I would save myself the embarrassment of trying.

But alas! Today was the last stroke. I couldn't bear seeing the same old thing on my blog. You know I hate to be passe. In addition to my visual disgust, I felt a sign today. The sun was shining brightly, the birds chirping, and a sweet breeze filled my home every time I opened the front door. Yes, the sun, the birds, and the breeze were all telling me that the wrath of winter was passing....and with it my chronic condition.

So here I go...

First, a breakdown of details on the homefront life.

J and I spent Thanksgiving in Tuscon (with his Mom), Christmas in Phoenix (with his Dad), and New Year's in Camp Verde (with some new friends). While I am sure that interesting things happened, it is too late for me to recall the details. So for those interested in my life, be content to know that we had a really nice holiday season and I wish we could do it all over again. Oh yeah, and thanks to all of those who sent us Christmas cards...they made me VERY happy!

In more recent news, I am now officially back in classes (groan). But I am optimistic that I will be a better student (smile). Not that I have been a particularly bad student as in grades, but I have been a bad student as in attitude. So, I am doing my best to be organized, proactive, and grateful for my education (another bigger smile).

Now on to more self indulgent stuff.

Top 10 Things I Have Contemplated Since My Last Post

I know you really want to know, right?

#10 How to decorate my stylish retro pad without expending $$, effort, or time.

#9 If I really am an Anglophile like Justin says.

#8 What to make for dinner.

#7 Bills.

#6 School.

#5 Getting into shape for the new year.

#4 Church callings.

#3 Tolkien's books.

#2 Why I have BA.

#1 All the things I could get for my friends and family for a million $$.

And now to end this session...

To all who care,


I am glad my case of BA has ended (for now). I thank all for their concern. And, I wish all a Happy New Year of Blogging.


Optimistically yours,



Adriane