Back 'n Business

For the past 3 weeks my home has been disconnected from the greater metropolis of the world wide web.

To say the least, I have resorted to simpler areas of entertainment to fill in the void: reading, cleaning, walking, and oh yes, my favorite, thinking. Indeed, much thinking has taken place these past weeks, and although most of it may be of little interest to the outside world, I have thought of my next top 10 list. And now that I am back 'n business with my personal connection to the online world I will present it to you.

Top 10

Ways to Stay Trim during the Holiday Season

As Thanksgiving is around the corner and Christmas is just a few strides down from there, now is the time to be thinking about how to deal with those inevitable celebratory pounds. Here are a few new suggestions.

Note: Each exercise focuses on a different "problem area" so as to more fully maximize your precious holiday time.

#10 ARMS (general): Simple. Wrap 42 presents each day from now until Christmas Eve.

#9 ABS: Practice dunking Santa's cookies. To do this, place a glass of milk on a very tall chair. Grab a cookie. Lay down next to the chair. Roll-up and dunk. Repeat until cookie is fully saturated.

#8 CALVES: Place Christmas lights around house trim. VERY IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE LADDER. Stand on tippie-toes or jump to height of trim. When finished, offer to do neighbor's house.

#7 PECS: Sing Christmas carols 3xs per week while wearing traditional yuletide garb--hoop skirt, bonnet, and most importantly, lace-up corset. The resistance of the uniform, especially the corset, builds incredible pectoral muscles.

#6 GLUTTS: Perform all holiday cooking in "horse stance." Increase bend during cooking of all desserts.

#5 FOREARMS: Write all season's greetings by hand. Use only blank cards. Switch hands between sets of 10. DO NOT REST between sets.

#4 SHOULDERS: Start each day with no less than 4 snowball fights. Throw at least 17 snowballs per fight and rotate arms at least twice with each throw. If snow is hard to come by in your area, supplement with "holiday" gelatin balloons.

#3 BICEPS: Volunteer as Santa at the local department store. Aim for "picking up" and "handing over" 1 child per 30 seconds.

#2 QUADS: Construct a life-size gingerbread house. Conduct all lifting of material without the aid of mechanical equipment.

#1 TOTAL BODY: Join the Russian section of the local "Nutcracker Ballet."

--A

Condensed Newsflash

Preface: I don't believe many people read this blog...which is one reason why I have never installed one of those people-counting-daily-tally things on this blog...I just prefer to save myself the public humiliation. However, I feel compelled to offer a blogging update, if for no other reason that to soothe my recent blogger guilt (what is it now? 20 days since my last post??? I can't remember. Who cares anyway.)



Current Situation: Since my home internet will not be live until next week, I am currently at the CV public library trying to think of a quick and dirty blog update. My time limit is, at the moment, glaring me in the eye at "27 minutes remaining" so here it is:

Moving was a long and painful process. But here we are in CV trying to make sense out of life in a new place, with new people, and new challenges. We are doing well though. J is working hard at the new job. I working hard at refining my domestic skills. The cats are working hard at eating and sleeping in new surroundings...they are getting very fat.

Church has been better than we expected. We have received an outpouring of welcome from everyone. I have even scored another 50lbs. of wheat from the Bishop's wife...I think at this point, with my new domestic ambition, I need to say "whoo-hoo!" at that.

J and I took a few little road trips on his days off this week. Went hiking and fishing at Oak Creek and I saw Sedona for the first time (I call it "Sedoner," affectionately of course, in honor of its affected, high nosed, tourist laden atmosphere). We went shopping for a watch strap in Prescott, but really it was only an excuse to by-pass shopping at the local Wal-Mart. Prescott was cool (note: b/c this is a quick and dirty update I will use words like "cool" and "awesome" to save precious mental time...oh yeah and "b/c" too.) I love the old buildings there, they were awesome. There was some pretty good Mexican food too. The whole central-AZ world is still so foreign to me. It will take some time for me to get used to seeing immense vertical relief, hippies, bikers, snowbirds, and extreme examples of both poor and rich living. So far though, I am liking it.

---A

Quirky Tag

Let it be known that this is my first official blogging tag...I feel so cool

6 QuIrKy ThInGs AbOuT mE

what only 6?

#1 For a culinary delight, I prefer smoked oysters to dessert anyday

#2 I get great satidfaction from watching water droplets sizzle and dance on a hot wood stove...for an even quirkier experience, I love shaking wet hair over the wood stove

#3 Fashion to me = polyster dress + thrift store + $1

#4 I am secretly amused by the new generation of Disney Mouseketeers...don't tell anyone but I recently watched "Camp Rock" with a girl I babysit and the other day I found myself subconsciously singing the hit song in my car

#5 I can shave my legs in 30 seconds flat...of course, that's when I shave them...I know, I know, T-M-I

#6 I always get cliche phrases wrong

Thanks Amie for the tag and the official invite into the blogging kingdom of cool. I now tag Brooke, Bucky, Lindsey, Shannon, and Sheena.